Leadership & Alignment: The Gift of Misalignment

The gift of misalignment (experiencing what you don’t want) is sometimes the path that leads to clarity so you can get in alignment with what you do!

Why? Because clarity will give you focus … and focus more effectively drive you towards the results that you want.

So the question becomes … how do you know when you’re not in alignment?

3 Indicators That Tell You You’re Not In Alignment:

1. Your working extremely hard and your desired outcome isn’t coming or it is nowhere in sight.
2. You’ve exhausted all of your ideas, resources, and energy, and things are still not working the way you want or feel they should.
3. You find yourself laying awake at night going over the court case in your head to convince your self why YOU are right and everyone and everything about this situation is wrong or why the situation shouldn’t be this way.

Reality Check: There are things in life that happen that you have no control over no matter how powerful you think you are!

When things don’t go as planned most leaders label the situation as a bad thing that needs to be fixed or righted. And being driven, they move forward exerting inordinate amounts of time and energy trying to control a situation that in some situations is beyond their control.

I am not saying to give up, become a doormat, and just let things unfold. I am saying that if you’re experiencing the any of the 3 indicators above, take the misalignment and use it to guide you back into alignment it to achieve the results you desire. Below is a simple 5 Step process to help guide you.

The 5 Step Process to Get Back in Alignment:

• Review the situation from the perspective of where the misalignment is showing up.
• Utilize the misalignment to physically write down what it is that you do want that IS in alignment with your desired outcome (Be careful on the wording here remembering to only focus on what you want not what you don’t).
• Ask yourself if what you want is achievable with this person, in this situation, in this culture, in this relationship, at this company, etc.
• If the answer is yes … do what you need to do to get back in alignment. Make the change, have the conversation, decide, etc.
• If the answer is no … MOVE ON … either let it go and don’t bring it up again or literally remove yourself from the situation. Only now you will be moving forward more determined and purposeful with a the sense of clarity and focus.

Sometimes moving on and letting go means you walk away from a person, a position, a company, or a career that was in alignment at one time but no longer is or sadly never was.

Wallowing in a situation or rehashing facts to prove you’re right can be an extraordinary waste of time. The longer you stay out of alignment the longer you keep yourself from creating the outcomes or results that you want.

The paradox here is that sometimes the only way you can get what you want is by experiencing what you don’t … and that can be a good thing!