The Truth About Effort & Self-Worth
So I tried pleasing Mom, I tried pleasing Dad. Tried pleasing those voices, Spinning ‘round in my head!
(I Could Love No One Until I Loved Me)
Effort is a good thing … unless you find yourself tying your sense of self-worth and value to it!
I remember standing in the hallway of St. Francis De Sales School with my fingers crossed. I was in 2nd grade and I was hoping and praying that Sr. Miriam Therese would call my name so I could go up and claim my highly coveted prize … a small blue and white button with the word ‘EFFORT’ emblazoned across the front of it.
When she called the last name and it wasn’t mine I was crushed! What about me? What about my button? Don’t you see how hard I’ve been trying?
As I think back this must have been a defining moment (as you can see I’ve completely forgotten about it) because it was reinforcing the belief that others defined my sense of self-worth. When you’re a child other people have an amazing amount of influence over what we believe about ourselves.
Many of us grew up being told to try harder, to push harder, to exert more, to put a little more effort into it, etc. And then there were those times when gave it our all and we felt good about what we accomplished … that was until we saw someone else do better, or someone said, “Imagine how much better it would be if you just exerted even more … EFFORT?”
In those moments it seems like we choose one of two paths. Either we shut down and went inside of ourselves or we adopted the do good, try hard, method to prove our self-worth and value to ourselves and the world.
This past week while I was reflecting on this last year, I came to a few realizations about the relationship between effort and self-worth.
- Sometimes more isn’t necessarily better … this includes more effort and sometimes more ice cream!
- If I am exerting enormous amounts of effort and it doesn’t bring me joy, I might need to redirect my efforts and focus on something that will.
- Success in life and in business doesn’t need to be hard in order for it to have meaning or for me to feel valued.
- My sense of self-worth comes from within … if I am not feeling worthy, looking outside myself and blaming others is not the path to joy and peace.
- I can create more, help more, and bring more value to others by simply showing up and being who I am. ‘Being’ who I am requires a lot less effort than if I was trying to be someone I am not!
If any of these words resonate for you, if you’ve ever felt like you had to try harder to feel like you are enough , or if you just want to feel happier, healthier, and have more joy, click on this link and gift yourself with a copy of my newest book.
It just might change your life!