“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.” ~ Michael J. Fox
At various times in my life I have felt somewhat worn-down by the steady flow of negativity and the events unfolding in our world. Lately, it feels as though these events have been a constant daily flow.
Which got me thinking…what is different about today’s world events versus say ten, fifty, or even a few hundred years ago?
I believe much of the heightened angst is due to an increase in the speed of delivery of the news and the unlimited access we have to information. Which in some ways is a very good thing AND in other ways it is extremely dangerous!
Way Back When…
Two-hundred or more years ago, a letter would sometimes takes months to be delivered. With the introduction of the telegraph information could be transmitted within hours. Initially, the telegraph was used sparingly and the information flowing was much more fact-based (think Abraham Lincoln waiting for updates on battles in the Civil War). Additionally, Initially, not everyone had access to telegraphs and eventually, the telephone.
When I think back about things like the Civil War, The Great Depression, World Wars I & II, and Vietnam, those events seem to be so much more dire than say Congress fighting over some asinine, non-bipartisan, nonsense. And yet the news cycle is filled with constant updates on these lesser important happenings.
And Now…
While the major events of the past were much more dire than some of the events unfolding today, I believe the major differences lie in the following five factors:
- We now have to feed a fear-driven 24 hour news cycle that is propelled by driving ad-revenue and peddling fear because that guarantees the most viewers and therefore the highest financial return.
- Everyone and anyone, regardless of their education, knowledge, experience, or mental wellness, has access to posting on social media and folks care more about how many likes or views they get than the accuracy of their opinion-based facts.
- We are a much more connected world because of technology and so we have access to events around the globe as they are unfolding in real-time by anyone and everyone with a smart-phone.
- We are inundated with self-serving politicians who are more interested in television appearances and posturing for their elections or reelection runs than settling issues, sharing facts, or doing the right thing.
- All of these things have created a situation where we are more separated and possibly as divided if not more than we were during the Civil War.
Finding Peace in the Chaos…
Normally when things are not unfolding the way I want or need them to, I typically go into my “grab control of the situation” mode so that I could get things back to normal and in “control” again. This was a behavioral trait that was imprinted in me very early in life. I was told that no one was going to” fix it” for me so I had to fix it myself!
The other day as I sat in front of my computer screen seeking the latest news on the Middle East situation, I found myself being dragged down and moving towards a state of feeling hopeless.
It is at moments like this one when I have to wake up and realize that I am intentionally choosing to fill my brain with negativity and fear-driven information. It doesn’t matter which channel, station, or social media venue I pay attention to, a very large percentage of what is being shared is either an opinion, a conjecture, or a carefully shaped fact. I needed to shift directions!
Life Keeps Teaching Me…
Life continues to teach me two very important lessons:
- There are some things in life that I have a choice in. I can choose what I eat, what line of work I am in, how I treat people, how I react to various situations, what I feed my mind, etc.
- There are situations in life that unfold and I have absolutely no control over what-so-ever!
When I realize that that I am in a situation that is beyond my control, I have two choices to make:
- Am I adding to the situation by continuing in a behavior that is adding to the angst or dis-ease?
- I can choose to accept the situation exactly as the way it is, I don’t need to know why, I don’t have to agree with it or like it, I just need to accept the situation exactly the way it is!
Curing the Dis-ease…
If something is causing you angst, the first thing you must do is look at the cause, not the symptoms but the cause. If what you are doing is causing you angst, stop doing it!! Seems simple right? It is!!
Second, in accepting the things you cannot change…you will find peace… and in this peaceful place you will see the unexpected gifts that are in front of you, gifts you cannot see because you are being blinded by negative emotion.
Gifts you would never have seen had you been focusing your attention and energy on trying to change a situation or outcome you have absolutely no control over.
A Question For You…
So are there any circumstances or situations in your life, past or present, that you have not or are not willing to accept?
Are you holding on, harboring resentment, anger, or regret, because a situation, relationship, business deal, marriage, etc. didn’t work out exactly the way you wanted it too?
My wish and my hope for you is in this chaotic world you would find a sense of peace.
One of the greatest gifts given to us from American Theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, was the Serenity Prayer during a very tumultuous time in our country’s history.
It reads… “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference”.
Whether you believe in God or not, that is not important because…
it is YOUR CHOICE whether YOU CHOICE to accepts the things you cannot change!
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Till Next Time!
