“Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got , till it’s gone.” ~ Joni Mitchell
Sometimes it takes losing something or someone to help us gain clarity on what we value in life. One way to prevent this from happening is making sure our values are in alignment with our actions, in other words, having internal and external integrity.
If I asked you to make a list of the 5 things you value most in life…what would be on your list?
If I asked you how much time and attention you devote to those things or people on your list…what would you say?
“More-than-enough, not-enough, not as much as I would-could-should, or but you don’t understand!”
Misaligned Values?
I once worked with an Executive Leader who told me that family was first and foremost at the top of his list. I then asked him how many hours he spent working a week. “I average about 65-70 hours per week,” he replied.
“That doesn’t leave a lot of time for your family, does it?” I asked. “But you don’t understand Joe, I do it for them so they can have a nice lifestyle!”
After a little digging the truth came out. He loved to work, he loved his clients, and most of all he loved the sense of value and purpose his work gave him. And he loved his family too! That said, choosing to work and consistently missing your daughter’s soccer games creates a values paradox. He realized he was not living authentically and that it was time for a realignment.
Sometimes when I ask someone what they value, it’s easy to say the things they are supposed to say that sound good (family, honesty, integrity, my wife, etc.) but it is not where they are focusing their time and resources. It’s akin to having a company mission statement created by a marketing department that means absolutely nothing to no one!
It isn’t usually intentional, it is simply what happens to us over time when the demands of life draw us away from what really matters most and we get misaligned.
And when we are not living in alignment with our values, we create self-inflicted stress, frustration, depression, and an overall dis-ease.
Need To Re-Focus?
Look at where you spend your time and energy. Is it with the people and things you value most? If not, you either need to realign your time and energy or realign your values.
This isn’t about shaming, blaming, or telling someone they are bad or wrong. It’s about integrity and making sure that what you say you value is what you are valuing in your life.
And this is important because?????
Because you never want to wake up and find that the person or thing you value most in your life is gone!
More importantly, that you could have done something to prevent it but it was too late!
Until next time…
