How do you make a big decision?
This past Fathers Day I found myself alone and in a reflective state …
Translation~ I was lying on the couch with the remote in my hand navigating through 387 channels when I stumbled across Oprah’s Life Class. Her guest was T.D. Jakes, the pastor of the Potter’s House, a non-denominational, mega-church located in Dallas.
(Yes, I get the irony of a grown man lying on the couch on Fathers Day watching Oprah … I digress)
That said, I haven’t always been a huge fan of Oprah and yet T.D. was incredibly engaging. There were so many points that struck me about making decisions. Allow me to share two that really hit home.
First Point: When you rush in or out of a situation or decision … and fear is the driving force (i.e. fear of losing something or someone), it is analogous to putting paint on a rotten fence. Meaning – fear can make good things appear rotten and rotten things appear good.
Okay, so that might be a bit dramatic, the point is that when we lack patience, when we fail to listen to our intuition, and we decide from a place of fear, we typically make poor choices. It’s our inability to sit in the discomfort and the uncertainty that pushes us to grab control and force a solution.
Life has taught me that when I am patient, when I allow myself to sit in the discomfort or pain, I am more likely to make the right decision. When I am impatient, when I try to force my will … I often make poor decisions.
Second Point: The idea of being in rhythm with the people and environment we live and work in. When we are out of rhythm with our environment or the people we interact with, it causes incredible levels of tension and stress. And while an occasional misalignment is both natural and a normal part of relationships … when it happens frequently and consistently … it’s probably time for a change.
That said … we must also be careful when looking at misalignment to always point a finger away from ourselves and towards others. What we must first do is be courageous enough to take a long hard look at what we might be contributing to the situation and take 100% responsibility for our stuff … regardless of what the other person does or says.
If you look inside yourself, acknowledge and own what you are contributing to the issue, and then shift your outlook and your behavior that is all you can do. If nothing changes …well then it is clear that it’s time to move on.
If you are at a turning point in your life, or if you’ re at a fork in the road and you’re not sure which way to turn … sit … be still … be patient … and let the answer come to you … it always does!
And when it does, you will be at peace with yourself and your big decision!