Perfection, Projection, & Integrity
Many of us we’re taught to pursue perfection. We were imprinted with the belief that perfection was achievable. We just had to try hard enough, work long enough, or be good enough.
Please don’t get me wrong here, I am not saying we should not always strive to do or to be our best. What I am saying, is that measuring yourself against the unobtainable, the impossible, or the unachievable is futile.
Driven By Perfection
Perfectionism, usually has a direct correlation to a person’s self worth and value.
People, especially leaders, who tie their self-worth and value to external factors: how perfect they believe they are, the results they get (or don’t), what others think of them, how smart they are, how right they are, the material trappings, will never, ever, be enough.
Why? Because the hole they are trying to fill, is an attempt feel whole or to feel fulfilled (full – filled), is insatiable.
To relieve ourselves of this unhappiness within ourselves, we project it outwardly onto others. And while it may provide temporary relief, the truth is, it is fleeting. Why? Because we are only treating the symptoms, not the dis-ease.
It is just a matter of time until we have to continuously project it outward and away from ourselves onto bigger and bigger screens.
One Giant Perfection Screen
We see this every single day in the news, in Washington, at work, at home, all over Social Media, and on television. People who are disappointed with themselves, unhappy with their lives, blaming everybody else for their problems. Instead of taking 100% responsibility for their issues and their unhappiness.
They file lawsuits, attack people verbally while their friend video tapes it to post on Social Media. It is most noticeable in the recent wave of disgruntled, unhappy, it not my fault, folks causing commotions on airplanes. This is just another example of peoples inability to take responsibility for themselves, their actions, and their lives. It is all about them and they could care less if other people are inconvenienced.
If you ask me we have a serious integrity issue in this country.
An Integrity Issue
I have learned that integrity, is not about staying on the straight and narrow path 100% of the time. It is not about perfection, about being perfect, or acting perfect ,every single minute of every single day. After all, we are human, even it seems we have all forgotten that we are human, we make mistakes…we are not perfect!
Integrity is about the actions you take, the things you say, when you’ve made a mistake, stepped off the path, and need to get back on the path to make it right. Regardless, of how painful it may be or how you may be perceived.
And the only way I know to do that, is stop blaming others for your issues, your problems, or your unhappiness and realize that it is not their problem, IT IS YOURS!
However, there is a path out…
Until you’re ready to humbly accept that:
- You are not perfect.
- Expecting others to be perfect is just your projection of your own inner unhappiness in an attempt to seek temporary relief .
- Your unhappiness will never be resolved by blaming others, you must address your own unhappiness from within.
- Living a life out’ve integrity will never make you happy, it will only keep you spiraling further downward, where you may eventually reach a point of no return.
Until you are willing to accept these ideas, you will simply continue to be miserable and make others around you the same.
Looking for a path out? Click here!
Want to read more about the problem and causes of perfection? Click here!
Until next time…