Happy Holidays…Your Choice?
As we go rolling into the holiday season many of us will be spending time with family and/or friends.
Holidays can be a tough time for a lot of folks and everyone navigates them differently. While some folks are happy and joyous, others seem to struggle, so they deal with it in a much different way.
I don’t know about you, but does it ever seem like there’s always one or two people at a gathering you’re at that really like to stir things up? Add a few cocktails to the mix and they seem to get even more emboldened or needy for attention.
Instead of stirring things up with a teaspoon, the alcohol has caused them to reach for the giant spatula and give it one big ‘ol stir!
You never really know what is driving their behavior, and to be honest, it really doesn’t matter. The question is how can you navigate these challenging situations better this year.
It is in these moments, where I have to step back and reframe the situation so that I do not get hooked into a debate. Not that long ago, I would gladly strap on my holster and jump head-first into the fight with my guns ablaze like Yosemite Sam.
In fact, I am sure there more than a few times when I was the one standing in front of the giant 50 gallon vat and stirring it up! As I get older, I find that I prefer to choose peace and joy more often. I don’t get it right all of the time, but I do get it right more often.
I am pretty certain that I’m not the only one who experiences these types of situations over the holidays. So I thought I would share a few ideas to help you step back from the fray so you can stay more calm, cool, and collected.
5 Ideas to Stay Centered During the Holidays
- Instead of refuting or pushing back on an idea you don’t agree with, simply say, “Ya know you might be right about that!” Then promptly excuse yourself.
- Instead of pushing back, you could say, “I’ve never looked at it from that perspective before, thank you for the insight!” Then promptly excuse yourself.
- Ask yourself: Is it my need to be right or my need to win that wants to respond in a combative way? Then ask yourself, if your peace and sanity is worth losing in an attempt to win an unwinnable argument!
- Remind yourself, that at times you may have been the person who was acting in a way that was off-putting to others. Then ask yourself how you would have wanted to be treated in that moment. And please don’t say, “I wish someone would’ve knocked me upside the head!”
- If you can stay the course, ask questions to better understand where the other person is coming from, this takes a bit of humility and skill. You don’t have to agree with any of it, just seek to understand. Ask questions like: Why is that? Say more about that? That’s interesting? What’s that like? You get the idea…
Remember that the holidays can be a tough time for folks for a variety of reason, we will never understand.
Everyone deals with stuff differently, some people are more conscious than others, others are more wounded than others. You never know what types of challenges they are facing, so error on the side of grace and forgiveness.
Isn’t that what you would want for yourself?
Just remember…it’s your choice!