“The opposite of courage is not cowardice, it is conformity.” – Rollo May
It takes courage to change the “things” in our lives that are not working. It sometimes takes even more courage to be willing to take a long, deep look at ourselves to see what we are doing or thinking that is producing these undesirable results.
So how do we know if we need to change?
Simply look at the results you are creating in any given area of your life. If it is NOT the results you want, then something needs to change. Here is where a lot of folks decide to simply change their behaviors. However, if you want to sustain the change, you must look at the underlying beliefs that are driving the behaviors, that are creating the results you’re getting.
Why? Because behaviors (our actions) will always find congruence with the underlying belief (our thoughts) that are driving them. This is a big reason why folks are sometimes unable to sustain the change beyond a short period of time.
It’s an Inside Job
As human beings we have a propensity to look outside of ourselves and focus on trying to change those around us. We prefer to believe that other people are the cause of our pain, aggravation, or undesirable results. This has actually become a epidemic in our current “cancel” culture society.
Folks are trying to control the externals instead of looking at themselves and the beliefs they attribute to a particular object, person, or situation. The good news is that eventually all roads lead back to you ,and eventually you will have to address this from the only place you can…within you!
Consciousness and the Courage to Change?
In his book entitled, Letting Go, author David Hawkins shares that Courage is actually a level of consciousness. He describes how at the consciousness level of Courage, one moves from the lower levels of consciousness (i.e shame, guilt, fear, anger) and cross over into higher levels of consciousness like peace and joy. Courage is the threshold.
Hawkins goes on to say that in order to move higher we have to become aware of the things that hold us back and we have to let them go.
Changing ourselves requires a surrender of sorts, a willingness to let go of something we are clinging to and then having the courage to push beyond our fear so that we can experience a different result. For example, letting go of an old belief about love and relationships so that we can experience the love we want. Maybe it’s about letting go of self-sabotage so we can experience more success or create more abundance. If you dig deep enough you will find that whether it is more joy or even more consciousness that you desire…change requires us to surrender.
3 Questions That Can Change Your Life:
- What do you believe is the “one” thing that is holding you back most from moving forward?
- What do you get from holding on to that “one” thing. Don’t balk here…even if believe you are holding onto something negative or painful, you are getting something from it (i.e. less responsibility, playing small. never-failing, safety from being hurt, etc.)
- What would you do, if you knew you already had the courage to surrender and let go?
Courage and Conformity
Rollo May’s quote about courage in the introduction is so brilliant when he says “The opposite of courage is not cowardice, it is conformity.”
Conformity is defined as, the process whereby people change their beliefs, attitudes, or actions to more closely match those beliefs held by ourselves or others. Sometimes we get so comfortable in our lives, surrounded by people who think just like us, who act just like us, that we get lulled into a false sense of happiness. Like-minded people have a tendency to attract each other because they are so much alike. It is comfortable and it fulfils are need to belong.
That said, if you are unhappy and not getting the results you want in any area of your life, you have to be willing to change…
Whether that means looking deep within yourself, changing old beliefs, reframing your perspective on something, maybe even changing who you spend your time with and what you spend your time doing!
And that my friends takes courage!