“You can only lose what you cling to.”  ~ Buddha

If you’ve ever been to the circus and observed acrobats swinging from one trapeze to the next, you realize that at some point there is a defining moment when they must let go of one trapeze and leap to the next. For a short period of time they are floating in mid-air, attached to nothing other than the vision of their intended destination. Hopefully…the other bar.

In life, there are times when you must be willing to let go and leap into the unknown for a period of time to get to the next level of growth or success. It might be a situation where you need to let go of:

• Old beliefs or habits that are holding you back from achieving what you truly want in life.
• Old, worn out relationships that have lingered for years even though they no longer bring you happiness. In fact they might even be dragging you down and holding you back.
• Any and all thoughts that you have used to define who you are (your business, your job, ego, addiction, material possessions, etc.) that are external to you. Especially, the ones which are creating angst-iety in your life or destroying your physical or mental health.
• The fear behind the belief that you must control everyone and everything because you are the parent, sibling, manager, leader, president, V.P., CEO, heir to the throne, etc., because if you don’t no one will!

The Problem

The problem is that fear prevents many of us from letting go and taking the leap.

We may have convinced ourselves that somehow, these old beliefs, worn-out relationships, or external markers of self-worth, give us what we need, so we cling to them as if it were a matter of life or death. Some of us hold onto to things even though we have been told by others we need to let them go. Others hold onto these things even when we keep getting the same opposite results of what we really want or need.

And there they sit on our shoulders, like a trio of monkeys on your back!

The Paradox

When we hold onto something tightly out of fear of losing it, one of two things will happen to you:

1. You will squeeze it so tight that you will lose it anyway. Try holding water in your hands and squeezing it tightly, the tighter you squeeze the more you lose! The same thing applies to old beliefs, worn-out relationships, or our self-worth that is externally driven.
2. The pain of holding on becomes greater than the pain from the fear of letting go and so we let go. And in letting we lose it anyway.

Why? Because when we allow our fear to rule us, it causes us to think or do things that we normally wouldn’t do if we were unafraid. Fear can create irrational thoughts which leads to irrational thinking which leads to irrational behaviors.

At some point, you simply have to let go and trust the process. The problem, is that many people stay paralyzed, because their fear of loss (real or imagined) prevents them from leaping and so they never let go, they never jump, they just stay stuck!

The good news is you have options…the bad news is that not all of them serve you well.

Five Options You Can Choose

1. You can stay stuck by swinging back and forth on one bar watching your desire move in and out’ve reach, reminding you of what you could have if you would let go and jump.
2. You can stay stuck by rationalizing why you shouldn’t let go to yourself and everyone around you. If you try and fail your dream dies and so sometimes we hold onto the idea of the dream instead of the dream itself!
3. You can stay stuck by holding onto both bars, straddling both worlds, but never commit to one or the other. While it initially feels like the best of both worlds straddling a fence eventually hurts because you never move forward!
4. You may rationalize options 1, 2, & 3 above and sell yourself out by pretending that what you want doesn’t matter. In the end you are 100% responsible for your life! In other words…it’s your circus and they are your monkeys!
5. You can let go, trust the process, and know that you have everything you need to move forward (my personal favorite)

You see, each and everyday you have the opportunity to let go of the things that are holding you back. I find that many times in life, the things you cling to out’ve fear or lack of awareness are actually giving you the opposite results of what you want but you cannot see it.

However, if you are willing to take a good long look at yourself, let go of the obstacles that you’re placing in your path and jump…you just might start living your greatest life on earth!