May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.
With Father’s Day right around the corner, I find myself in somewhat of a reflective state. My Father passed away 14 years ago and I can honestly say we were very close.
All of this got me thinking about the decisions I have made in my life, mostly the major ones: not having children, quitting the corporate 9-5 and starting my own business, writing a few books, getting married, getting divorced, moving numerous times across the country, etc.
As I reflect on these turning points in my life I realize that some of my decisions were fear-based while others were from a place of love, trust, and abundance.
Fear-Based Decisions
When you rush in or out of a situation or decision and fear is the driving force (i.e. fear of losing something or someone), it is analogous to putting paint on a rotten fence. Meaning – fear can make good things appear rotten and rotten things appear good.
Okay, so that might be a bit dramatic, the point is that when we lack patience, when we fail to listen to our intuition, and we decide from a place of fear, we typically make poor choices. It is sometimes our inability to sit in the discomfort and the uncertainty that pushes us to grab control and force a solution out of fear.
Sometimes these decisions are made from a place of imbalance or mis-alignment. What I mean by that, is when I am out of alignment with my core values or parts of my life are unbalanced, I am not usually thinking clearly which is just another factor of making poor decisions.
Non-Fear-Based Decisions
Life has taught me that when I am patient, when I allow myself to sit in the discomfort or pain, I am more likely to make the right decision as opposed to when I am impatient or when I try to force my will, I often make poor decisions.
I have also found that when I am aligned with my core values, when I am experiencing balance in my life, there is a flow or a rhythm to life and it is very easy to make good decisions. I have no need to try to control or rush, I am so much more patient and trusting.
While an occasional misalignment or imbalance is both natural and a normal part of life and relationships, when it happens frequently and consistently, it’s probably time for a change.
Deciding to Make a Change
If you do decide to make a change, be careful when looking at misalignment in a job or relationship that you are not simply pointing your finger at others and blaming them.
You have to be willing to be courageous enough to take a long hard look at what we might be contributing to the situation and take 100% responsibility for our stuff, regardless of what the other person does or says.
If you look inside yourself, acknowledge and own what you are contributing to the issue, and then shift your outlook and your behavior, that is all you can do. If nothing changes, well then it is clear that it’s time to move out of that situation and move on.
If you are at a turning point in your life, or if you’ re at a fork in the road and you’re not sure which way to turn, first turn inward and ask what you might be contributing to the situation. Then sit… be still…be patient… and let the answer come to you… it always does!
And when it does, you will be at peace with yourself and your big decision!
