“There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.” ~ Napoleon Hill
The other day I was having a conversation with a colleague, fellow coach, and an incredibly good friend, Barry Zweibel. We’ve been friends and have had a two-person mastermind group of sorts since the day we met 24 years ago.
We were having one of our incredible conversations and it reminded me of another conversation we had a number of years ago when I was at a major crossroads in life.
He and I were talking when Barry, as only Barry can do, pulled out a 2 x 6 and walloped me on the side of the head with a question that challenged me in a way I will never forget. He was challenging me to embrace my purpose (calling) at an even higher level.
Now if you asked me at that time, I would have told you I was living my dream. In fact I still love what I do and I can’t imagine doing anything else, this is my calling (speaking, coaching, & consulting)!
But Barry was challenging to go deeper into my purpose and look into the recesses of my heart and soul for any remnants of old beliefs, old ideas, or hidden defense mechanisms, that were holding me back.
And of course I found them. I won’t bore you with the details, I will however tell you that I had to search deep in the recesses till I discovered some leftover remnants of good old-fashioned…FEAR!
Now I’d like to tell you that as a Professional Speaker and Executive Coach that I have overcome all my fears and I am completely self-actualized , but the truth is I am not, even to this day. I am not perfect, I bump up against things that slow me down and temporarily hold me back. I guess the key words here are slow down (not stop), and temporarily (not permanently).
Don’t Fear the Reaper
Fear can cause you to drift from your purpose, it can stop you in your tracks, and it can kill your dreams. It doesn’t have to be a full-blown fear that is evident to you, it can hide in the deep pockets of your mind and actually disguise itself as reason, logic, security, or limited success.
That said I want to share with you a quick way to get out of your fear and moving forward again so you can achieve the level of success you want.
3 Questions To Ask Yourself To Put Fear Behind You:
1. What am I afraid of losing? Fear is always associated with loss and the quickest way out of fear is to identify the loss. I refer to these fears that can occupy your mind as Fear FILLERS ™ – Loss of:
- F-reedom – Will I be held back, constrained, held back, or stuck somewhere or in some situation I don’t want to be.
- I-ncome – Anything having to o with money, financial freedom, etc.
- L-ife – Usually overblown in normal situations. When you have a near accident on the freeway and you curse at the other driver, you’re actually more fearful than angry.
- L-ove – Anything having to do with relationships, belonging, affection, etc.
- E-go – What I think of myself, my mask, the image I project to others.
- R-eputation – What others think of me, my image, my brand, how others see me.
- S-ecurity – Kind of a catch-all, anything that messes with our basic human needs for safety and security. Think Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs.
2. What is the truth? Will I really lose my freedom, life, etc.? Remembering that 98% of the things we fear never happen or we find we are totally capable of handling them, and becoming stronger as a result of the experience!
3. Now that I know the truth: What action do I need to take to move forward?
This a simple process that will take you from a fearful place (emotion) and move you into a more logical place where you can move into action.
Sooooooooo…got any leftover remnants of fear hiding in a corner somewhere that is preventing you from playing a bigger game??