Closing the Happiness GAP!
At the beginning of each and every month I have the opportunity to work through a process with a group of folks that I spend Monday thru Friday with at 5:15 AM. It is my Accountability group and it is led by my dear friend and colleague, Shawna Schuh. She also leads this monthly call where we set up our goals for the month and then track them each day on a consistency calendar.
This morning I had an epiphany …
I came to the realization that when I look at the overall goals for my life personally, relationally, and professionally, what I want more than anything is happiness. I want happiness within myself, with others, and in my work.
While I was writing it dawned on me that happiness sounded like something I was striving for or a destination I would arrive at … someday. Than I realized that happiness is simply the cumulative effect of choosing to be happy each and every day.
When you consistently choose to be happy, you ultimately discover happiness.
In other words, my ability to find happiness is based on my weekly, daily, and hourly choices to be happy or not. I have the power to be happy and if I am not happy there is no one else at fault and nothing else to blame. It’s on me!
I then looked at the areas or the components in my life and the situations that caused me to feel unhappy. Sometimes you have to look at what you don’t want to get clarity on what you do. There were 3 areas I looked at and here they are:
- When I am ungrateful for all that I have and instead choose to focus all the things that I don’t!
- When I start thinking scarcity thoughts and focus on the fact that there isn’t enough and I have to fight to get my share. This scarcity mentality and can slowly creep in and infect my business, my relationships, and my worldview!
- When I am unproductive, waste time, and accomplish nothing of value. I may be checking boxes on my to do list but they have little or no significance.
Lately, I have been working on a new book entitled, The Art of Leading, Coaching, & Influencing Others. One of the concepts I share in regards to influencing others is that your job as a leader is to help your folks identify the gap between where they are and where they want to be. This gap can apply to all aspects of life whether it be specific to a project, their career, or a relationship.
You accomplish this by asking questions so they can see the gap and you understand what they are thinking or believing about their particular situation. What you think doesn’t matter if they don’t see it and identify with it. Once they establish the gap, you can help them decide what actions they might take so they can start closing that gap and achieving their goals. All of this is done through the art of asking great questions.
When I asked myself those same questions, and I identified the gap between what I wanted and where I was, I decided that I would take 3 actions in order to achieve my ultimate goal of being happy. I decided to adjust my thought process and start behaving differently in these 3 areas of my life:
- G ratitude – I would write each and every day what I am grateful for
- A bundance – I would focus on the fact that there is plenty of everything. We live in a land of abundance, all I have to do is look for the opportunities and do the work. Which leads me to number 3.
- P roductivity – simply put … DO THE WORK! Stop procrastinating, wasting time and start taking action, whether it be massive or minuscule, just move and do something.
This isn’t rocket-science, I think most great ideas are rather simple, and yet it was eye-opening.
When I am ungrateful, approach life from a scarcity mentality, and am not productive, I AM NOT HAPPY! When I am grateful for all that I have, approach life from an abundance mentality, and I am productive, I AM HAPPY!
Period the end, game over, that’s a wrap!
Let me close with 3 questions:
- So where are the gaps in your life between where you are and where you want to be?
- What do you need to do to close that gap (what action you need to take or belief do you need to shift)?
- What are you willing to do or commit to doing to change that?
When you consistently choose to be happy … you won’t have to look for happiness … happiness will find you!