Change Your Story – Change Your Life!
“Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless, because they cannot think new thoughts.”
A. Salman Rushdie
Have you ever sat in a restaurant observing the other people around you and all of a sudden you start making up a story about them. For example, you see a couple basically sitting in each others laps unable to keep their hands to themselves and you think, “Dating, definitely not married, no more than 2 months, met online on one of those dating sites, etc.” Or maybe you see an older couple eating breakfast in total silence, he’s reading the paper, she’s looking at her cell phone. So you think, “Married at least 40 years, not happy, wishing they were some place else, probably stayed together for the kids, etc.”
I know what you’re saying, I’ve never done that…right?
We Make Up Our Own Stories
The reality is that we make up stories about a lot of things. Stories about our jobs, our customers, our coworkers, selling, our spouses or partners, we even have stories about ourselves. “I grew up in a lower middle class family, my parents never (fill in the blank).” “I was born into a strict, catholic, family.” “I am the child of an alcoholic.” “I was a latchkey kid.” On and on and on and on we go! Some of us have told our story so many times that we’re sick of telling it. Guess what? People are sick of hearing it!
Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, The Mastery of Love, and a number of other books, talks about rewriting your story.
He says that when you change your story, you can change your life!
Start Rewriting Today
In order to do rewrite your story, you first have to believe you have the power and the ability to reframe how you are viewing your life. I’m not telling you to make stuff up like you grew up in a magical castle and were raised by tinker bell. What I am saying is that if you look for what is good and right, you will find it. And if you choose to look for all that is wrong, you will find that too!
Look for the qualities, characteristics, gifts, and all of the things that make you special and unique. The things and events that have made you who you are today. Sometimes it requires a reframing.
Change Your Old Story
Here are a few examples of what it means to reframe your story and the events that took place:..
- I used to believe I grew up with parents who stifled me. Now I know I grew up in a family where my parents loved me and I turned out pretty damn good.
- I used to believe we didn’t have a lot of money growing up. Now I know my parents loved us so much, they sent myself and my 2 brothers to private schools because they wanted the very best for us.
- I used believe that if I could, I would go back and change x, y, and z. Now I know I wouldn’t change a thing…it was perfect, because it got me to this point…right here and right now!
When you realize that you choose your story and all the details in it, you become free to rewrite your story. You can write a comedy, an adventure, a love story, a success story, etc. BTW please don’t write a tragedy the world has enough of those!
Change Your Current Story
The same theory applies to all of the actors, roles, and the details of your story. Here’s a few examples:
- Your current job can be the death of you or it can be the best teacher in the world.
- Prospecting as a salesperson can be the most dreaded activity in the world, or it can be simply having conversations to discover new opportunities.
- Selling can be the toughest job in the world or it can be a way to make unlimited income.
- Your spouse can be the bane of your existence or they can be the person that can teach you the real meaning of the word love.
- Your boss can be the cause of all of your problems at work or they can be the one lesson you still need to learn.
- Being a leader can be the worst job in the world or it can be the greatest opportunity to positively influence others
The bottom line is this…
The choice is up to you. You hold the pen to write and rewrite your story. So why on God’s green earth would you write anything but a best seller!
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