“Happiness is an inside job.” ~William Arthur Ward
In a world that seems to be filled with a whole lot of unhappy people I find that the decision to be happy falls solely on my shoulders.
Sure, I can watch the news so I can blame the media, the president, congress, or all those extremely unhappy people who project their own unhappiness out into the world.
But in the end, my decision to be happy is solely up to me and I am 100% responsible for my happiness!
It Took Awhile…
Early on in my professional career I strived for success. Success was the path that would lead me to happiness so I worked hard and believed that eventually, one day when I achieved a certain level of financial success…I would be happy.
For a time, I believed that is was just about finding the right relationship and if I had the right person, I would be happy (this one was definitely a very bumpy trail).
So then, after years of writing, speaking, and educating leaders, I believed that the sense of significance I felt from helping folks to transform their lives is what made me happy, and to some degree it really does. Watching someone break through the barriers and obstacles they are putting in their path is extremely gratifying.
However, I still found that external factors could and would impact my level of happiness, even though I knew they shouldn’t.
Finding Happiness
It took awhile, but time has taught me that happiness is not a place you arrive at after you accomplish a goal, a dream, a financial level, or a specific job or career. There is more to it than just the external factors that impact our lives, because happiness is an inside job.
Happiness actually comes from the decision I make each and everyday to choose happiness, and sometimes, depending on the day, it may be multiple times in a day.
This may seem like an impossibility, especially when being surrounded by the media and others who want to create chaos, spew violence, and create fear and angst. This is not a get it right once and your good for life, it is an ongoing process and somedays are better than others.
That said, when I consistently choose to be happy, I ultimately discover happiness! In other words, my ability to find happiness is based on my choice I make sometimes by the minute, sometimes, by the hour, and sometimes by the day.
It is when I forget that I hold the power to choose happiness that I get off center and I need to course correct. Why? Because if I am not happy, there is no one else at fault and nothing else to blame. It’s on me!
Rooting Out The Unhappiness
Sometimes you have to look at what you don’t want to get clarity on what you do. For example, to get clarity on being happy, I decided to take a look at what makes me unhappy, and then get rid of it.
So when I looked at the areas or the components in my life and the situations that caused me to feel unhappy. There were 3 areas I looked at and here they are:
- When I am ungrateful for all that I have and instead choose to focus all the things that I don’t!
- When I start thinking scarcity thoughts and focus on the fact that there isn’t enough and I have to fight to get my share. This scarcity mentality can slowly creep in and infect my business, my relationships, and my worldview!
- When I am unproductive, waste time, and accomplish nothing of value. I may be checking boxes on my to do list but they have little or no significance.
When I sense I am being ungrateful, in a scarcity mindset, or being extremely unproductive, I am probably heading for a period or time of unhappiness and I need to reframe and shift my mindset.
Identifying the Gap
Years ago I did a talk called “Closing the Gaps.” The idea was to help organizations and folks close the gaps within themselves, the gaps between each other, and the gap between them and the marketplace (customers).
In order to change we needed to identify the gaps between where you are and where you want to be. Identifying the gap can apply to all aspects of a person’s life, whether it be specific to a project, their career, or a relationship and it certainly applies in this context as well.
Identifying the gap in those 3 areas gave me the information I needed to close those gaps and move closer to where I want to be. Where was I being ungrateful, where was I thinking scarcity, and where was I being unproductive.
Closing the Happiness G.A.P.
When it comes to identifying and closing the gaps in my happiness, I would look at where I was (being ungrateful, holding a scarcity mindset, or being unproductive) and where I wanted to be (full of gratitude, having an abundance mentality, and being productive).
Here’s how I would make the shift:
- G ratitude – I would write each and every day what I am grateful for.
- A bundance – I would focus on the fact that there is plenty of everything. We live in a land of abundance, all I have to do is look for the opportunities and do the work. Which leads me to number 3.
- P roductivity – simply put … DO THE WORK! Stop procrastinating, wasting time and start taking action, whether it be massive or minuscule, just move and do something.
This isn’t rocket-science, I think most great ideas are rather simple, and yet it was eye-opening.
When I am ungrateful, approach life from a scarcity mentality, and am not productive, I AM NOT HAPPY! When I am grateful for all that I have, approach life from an abundance mentality, and I am productive, I AM HAPPY!
Period the end, game over, that’s a wrap!
Let me close with 3 questions:
- So where are the gaps in your life between where you are and where you want to be?
- What do you need to do to close that gap (what action you need to take or belief do you need to shift)?
- What are you willing to do or commit to doing to change that?
When you consistently choose to be happy…you won’t have to look for happiness…happiness will find you!
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