“The tragedy of life is often not in our failure, but rather in our complacency; not in our doing too much, but rather in our doing too little; not in our living above our ability, but rather in our living below our capacities.”  ~ Benjamin E. Mays

 

A few years ago, I wrote a blog about leadership and disruption, challenging leaders to disrupt themselves instead of believing everyone else but themselves needed to change.

While it was met with open arms by many, there were some folks who thought the blog was written specifically about them. But that is what poor leaders do, they believe the world revolves around them. In this line of work, it is difficult to watch poor leadership unfolding and not say a word.  Sure it may have cost me some business, but as you know, I don’t hold back from writing what I believe needs to be said, if I did, I would be just like those who sit and watch someone get beat up and not step in.

Sometimes the only way to get the message across to folks is to be blunt and direct.

It Seems to be Getting Worse

Since that time, I have seen some leaders transform from average managers to extraordinary leaders. Unfortunately, I have also seen a few situations go from bad to worse. To say there isn’t a leadership problem in the business today would simply be an untruth.

Just over the last 4 weeks, I have observed or heard the following:

• A senior leader used one of the most offensive words in the English language pertaining to the female gender to force a mid-level manager to stay in their position by belittling and shaming them.
• Some leaders, who instead of finding solutions, deflect the blame and accept mediocrity and complacency instead of doing their job, which is to find solutions.
• An employee was forced to cancel his family vacation, was later denied PTO for a day off, all in retaliation for their loyalty to a previous leader who left the company. They were harassed until they were so stressed, it was affecting their health and well-being.
• A leader went behind their current employer with promises of undercutting their current employer in order to get hired by the competition.
• A company leader purposely destroys a successful division of a business in order to bring it under their own span of control by making it small enough so that it doesn’t warrant its own leader.
• Multiple examples of complacency and coasting in upper-leveI leadership positions because they are nearing retirement, sometimes when it is still 3 or 4 years away.
• Presidents and C-Suite level leaders so disconnected from what is happening that they allow all of the above situations to go on.

Now, if we add the unfolding of the leadership void of our political leaders in Washington D.C. the problem gets magnified. Imagine pulling a public stunt or saying intentionally inflammatory statements to get airtime on television because they’re running for reelection or positioning themselves for a presidential run that is 1267 days in the future? I think I can safely say most of folks are in disbelief regardless of what side of the fence you stand on.

We’ve Got Distracted & We Lost Our Way

How did we get so lost? How did we become so self-centered and self-absorbed that we became totally obsessed with ourselves, instead of serving those we promised to serve when we became leaders or public servants?

Do we simply not understand that great leadership is all about being other-centered, serving others, and being connected to your people? 

That can be extremely difficult to do when the world is pushing you to be more separated, more isolated, and more focused on consumerism instead of communication!

For the record, I really don’t believe it is just one thing that caused us to get distracted or to lose our way, I believe it is a combination of things and some of them start early in life.

Here are just a few examples of what may be contributing to this self-centeredness & separation :

1. I truly believe that Covid-19 and the isolation that took place during that time created an even greater “It’s all about me” mindset. During this time we became so self-absorbed and isolated, we simply stopped caring about our fellow human beings and we have not been able to reverse the momentum that keeps dividing us farther apart. It changed the way people showed up at work and it totally turned the tables and hog-tied a leaders ability to lead. It changed forever the way we interact with each other.
2. Covid-19 also brought about the term “binge-watching” television. A form of distraction and isolation from being in community and disconnected from each other and connected to a form of escape from reality.
3. I believe that social media and the opportunity to give folks the ability to say or to do anything and instantly put it out to the public with no censorship has been truly detrimental to the current state of affairs. Why is a teenage kid able to watch a live recording of another human being beheaded? Why are kids allowed to cyber-bully one another to the point of the victim committing suicide? Why do we allow kids to let social media be the center of their universe? Maybe this is why the European Union is working to ban kids from social media (story here).
4. Social media impacted adults as well, computer algorithms engineered to keep you watching reel after reel while being bombarded by ad after ad after ad to keep you distracted and isolated is pretty common behavior these days.
5. We have replaced having meaning and purpose with consumerism. We teach our children very early in life that happiness comes from outside of themselves with things that can be bought instead of internally from within themselves with a purpose for existence on this planet. And it doesn’t stop with our kids, these patterns get played out throughout an entire life. I can have a thought at 10:00 AM to buy something (probably something I do not need) and without leaving my house I can have it delivered via Amazon by 4:00 PM the same day. As long as I add enough items to my cart to hit the $25.00 mark even though the item I don’t need is only $10.00. I no longer need to go to the store and interact with others, I can be totally self-contained, can someone say Door-dash?

Possible Solutions?

I am going to be blunt here. It is not my intention to be offensive; it is my intention to bring about a higher level of awareness so we can wake up and start addressing the leadership pandemic that seems to be plaguing our country.

1. If you are in a leadership position and any of those situations or similar situations from the bullet points above apply to you. Please do your people a huge favor and resign. Walk away before you do any more damage unless you seriously want to change. The majority of leaders want to do the right thing and help others, there are some who just simply should walk away.
2. As a leader, really do some soul searching and ask yourself why you became a leader in the first place, knowing that 1 out of every 2 leaders took a leadership position for the money. If that’s the case it is better to walk away.
3. If you are a parent, please, please, please stay on your kids to stay in school. Get them the help they need, help them find their way and give them a shove or a kick in the ass when they need it. They will thank you later, even though they may curse you now.
4. As a leader or especially a leader of leaders, invest in your people. Get them the leadership skills they need to navigate these very difficult times. Remember, you can take the cheap route and check the box or you can hire people who have actually been leaders to help your leaders develop their talent. If you need help, reach out, this is what we do and have been doing for the last 25 years! Click here. Remember, most leaders want to be great leaders they just might not know how!
5. If you are in  the upper most level of your organization (President’s V.P.’s and C-Suite), get out and find out what is really going on in your business. Please don’t allow these things to happen in your organization. If there is smoke, there is probably a fire burning there, especially if your people are leaving and you don’t honestly know why.
6. Lastly, if as a leader you are nearing the end of your career, please do not coast! If you are coasting you’re probably going downhill and while that may be okay for you, it is definitely not okay for the people you lead. Go out on a high note and remember. The story you tell about yourself are just stories. The stories others say about you when your gone is your legacy!!

Summary

If you have the privilege of being in a leadership position you must realize that it is exactly that…a privilege, it is not an entitlement! You can make a significant difference in the lives of those you lead. But you cannot do it if your leadership is all about you and your needs. You certainly cannot do it if you are complacent!

If you can’t rise to the occasion, have the dignity to step back so you can make room for those who are willing to work to transform the lives of others.

It is the way…