“We all have needs, and we will find a way to get those needs met in either a healthy or an unhealthy way” ~ Joe Contrera
Studies have shown that you can boil human behavior down into 4 basic categories. People are either driven by a need to be right, to be liked, to be recognized/seen, or to win.
It might be interesting to apply that concept as a lens by which you see the individuals at your next meeting. You might realize there is a lot of truth in that statement.
We Will Always Get Our Needs Met
Most folks will find a way to get their needs met, one way or another, even if it is a bit unhealthy. For example, I may not really need a price reduction because I feel that your price for the value you provide is good. And yet, my need to win may drive me to push you to lower your price even though I don’t really need it, I just need to win more than I need to be fair.
Sometimes folks who are driven by a need to win, will win by making everyone around them lose, especially if they feel like they are losing in another arena of their life. The same principal applies to those who are driven by a need to be right. If they feel wrong in one area of their life, they may attempt to make everyone around them wrong, sometimes at the cost of damaging a relationship.
Folks who are driven by a need to be liked, may sacrifice their own personal interests to appease others. And those who need to be recognized may go out of their way to be seen, even though they may come across as showboating, arrogant, or even self-centered.
Leadership & Knowing the Needs of Others
As a leader, you need to have a basic understanding of people and their needs. Needs are what drive people and knowing the needs of your people is critical to leading, coaching, and influencing, them.
Your ability to get buy-in, engagement, and collaboration, within your team is directly related your ability to navigate the minefield of needs and help them see how their needs will be met. This very important when driving change or presenting new ideas.
After studying people and leadership for over 25 years I have concluded the following 3 Truths about Leading, Coaching, and Influencing, Others™ :
- Leadership Rule #1 – Your ability to identify and meet the needs of your individual employee’s will determine your ability to lead them.
- Coaching Rule #1 – As a Coach, your purpose is to help others get clarity on what they truly want and need. Then your job is to help them see how what they are doing or how they are thinking is either giving them what they need or giving them the exact opposite.
- Influencing Rule #1 – Your ability to influence others is directly proportionate to your ability to understand the correlation between what they believe and need and the results you need them to achieve. Unless you understand where they are in relationship to where you need them to be your ability to influence them is diminished significantly.
Summary
Merriam-Webster’s defines art as the skill acquired by experience, study, or observation.
Leading, Coaching, and Influencing Others™ is an Art. It requires that you learn new skills and have a strong desire to study people. Most importantly, it requires a basic understanding that people are driven by needs. And regardless of the path they take (win, right, liked, or seen) underneath they are all driven by a need to be part of something bigger than themselves. They also have a need for belonging to a community (organization, company, etc.) that values them for their individual talents, strengths, and contributions.
To learn more about The Art of Leading, Coaching, and Influencing Others™ click here.
Until next time!
