“What others say and do is a projection of their own reality”  ~ Miguel Angel Ruiz

Projection is a defense mechanism where we take a part of us that we don’t like (i.e.  our arrogant-self, selfish-self, or our untrusting-self, etc.) and project it onto someone else.

For example, if we look at someone and say ” What an arrogant ass” while there may be a hint of truth in that statement about them, the real truth is that it is about our arrogance. The fact is, we don’t like that part of us, so we try to rid ourselves of it by projecting our arrogance onto someone else.

This is quite evident in our society today as the same idea applies to those folks who are unhappy or dissatisfied with themselves, they simply project and blame others for their problems.

It may be a shock to your system when you wake up and get conscious of the fact that other people mirror our not so great parts back to us. It takes a great deal of courage to embrace the not-so-great parts of ourselves. That said, if we fail to pay attention to the feedback we are getting, we may unfairly or incorrectly judge someone. This is an extremely slippery slope, especially for leaders.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall Who’s the…

As a leader, it is especially important to make sure you do not get caught up in the trap of projection. Why?

Because as a leader it is your job to hold up a mirror for others to see themselves and the self-imposed obstacles that our getting in the way of their success.

We are not responsible for removing them, we are responsible to them, to help them see the things they are doing that are preventing them from moving forward. If we are projecting our junk onto them or an attribute that is more about us, then we are being negligible as a leader. Being self-aware and conscious of our selves is the key to making sure we are not projecting our own stuff on others.

The Brighter Side of Projection

Now while all of this can be viewed as quite negative, there is actually another side of projection that is beneficial. The good news about projection is 2-fold:

1. If we trust the idea that people are just mirrors for us, we have the opportunity to see ourselves everywhere. We can be alerted to the fact that we do in fact have parts of ourselves that we need to work on. Which by the way, is almost always comes from a feeling of inadequacy or of not being enough. There is a direct correlation about not being enough and our self-esteem and self-worth. An incredible resource for truly understanding those parts and working through them is Nathaniel Branden’s work entitled, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem.  It is by far the best book I have read on the matter of self-esteem.
2. Projection works the same way when it comes to our positive traits! If I asked you to tell me who you thought was an extraordinary leader and why. And then asked you to list six characteristics they had/have that made them extraordinary (could be Winston Churchill or your high-school soccer coach) you would see that those characteristics are mirror images of you! Yes, the good characteristics that you see in others are characteristics that you have as well. The question is do you believe it and if so, are you bringing those characteristics to the surface and embracing them. This will definitely add to your sense of self-worth and self-esteem because you will be getting insight into what makes you extraordinary as well.

Reflecting Back

So yes, what we project on others may just be a mere image of us that we ignore, or it just might be a mirror image showing you the path to growth or a path to your extraordinary-ness!

Either way…it is definitely something to reflect on.